To be sung to the tune of "Everybody free.. ( to wear sunscreen )":
Ladies and gentleman, on the commute of '08 : Ride a bicycle!
If I could offer you only one tip for the future cycling would be it
The long term benefits of bikes have been proven by scientists
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering rides.
I will dispense this advice now...
Enjoy the power and beauty of your bike
Oh, never mind.
You'll not understand the power and beauty of your bike until you've stopped riding it.
But trust me, in twenty years you'll look back at photos of yourself you'll recall in a way you can't grasp now how much fitter and how fabulous you really looked.
You were faster than you remember.
Worry about the future.
Worry, but know that just worrying is about as effective as trying to solve climate change by driving a 4x4 in town.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind.
The kind that side swipes you at 5:30 on the homebound commute.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing
Don't be reckless at traffic lights and junctions
Don't put up with drivers who are reckless with you.
Grease
Don't waste your time on traffic jams
Sometimes your ahead, sometimes your behind
The ride is long and in the end its only with yourself
Remember the compliments you receive
Forget the Congestion Charge
When you succeed in doing this, tell EVERYONE.
Patch your old inner tubes, recycle your old tires.
Stretch
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what bike to ride, the most interesting people I know didn't know at 7am what they wanted to do with their commute.
Some of the most interesting 40 year old's I know just get out and ride.
Take plenty to drink.
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone – so don't ride singlespeed
Maybe you'll race, maybe you won't,
Maybe you'll go touring, maybe you won't,
Maybe you'll ride off road at 45,
maybe you'll ride a velodrome 'Taster' on your Stag Night.
Whatever you do don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either
Your safety is THE priority, so is everybody else's
Enjoy your bike, use it every way you can
Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own
Turbo-train, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room.
Read the Sustrans directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read cycling magazines, they will only make you go buy another bike,
Brother and sister,
Together we will make it through,
Some day a spirit will take you,
And guide you there,
I know you've been hurting,
But I've been waiting to be there for you,
And I'll be there just helping you out whenever I can.
Get to know your byways,
You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your brakes,they're your best friend on the road
And the item most likely to save you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with Practice they too could ride to work.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and cycling style.
The older you get the more you need gears and the lungs you had when you were young.
Ride in London once,but leave before it makes you hard.
Ride in northern England once,but leave before it makes you live there.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise,
Tires will puncture,
You too will get old and when you do;
You'll fantasize that when you were young bicycle were reasonable,
Tires never punctured and it never rain on long rides.
Respect old Hillclimbers,
Don't expect anyone else to tow you,
Maybe you'll have a road bike.
Maybe you'll have a hybrid.
But you never know when either one might need maintenance.
Don't mess too much with gear indexing or when you are due a chain, you'll need rings as well.
Be careful whose lube you buy,
But be patient with those who supply it.
LBS's are a form of nostalgia dispensing things from an Aladdin's Cave
Wiping off the muck & fixing the tired components.
Ebay just recycles them for more than they are worth.
But trust me - on the riding!
